I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant this cycle. Scratch that. I'm not fucking pregnant. And not being pregnant is pretty hard to think about.
DPO after DPO - and nothing. I hated coming to this blog with nothing to write about.
My boobs aren't sore.
I'm not bloated.
I've got just as much gas as I would any other day of the month.
No metal taste in the mouth.
No implantation cramps.
No implantation bleeding.
My cervix is like a yo-yo- there's no rhyme or reason to that damn thing.
Cervical mucus? Hell I think I always have cervical mucus.
Two BFNs. One at 10 DPO and one at 12DPO.
Not. Fucking. Pregnant.
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Showing posts with label Big Fat Negative. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Fat Negative. Show all posts
Friday, December 7, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
Big Fat Negative
Not Pregnant.
I'm around 9DPO or 10DPO...maybe. I didn't track so I have no idea when I ovulated. It's my first cycle after the D&C so I don't even know if I'll have a 28 day cycle. But I'm obsessed with being pregnant.
It is literally all. I. think. about!
At Target today I found myself in the pregnancy aisle. "Found myself," isn't exactly accurate. I walked over there on purpose. When I didn't see the tests near prenatal vitamins or lube I hunted them down. But I like to think it was a "whoops" moment, like oh what have we here? And, don't mind if I do.
I bought the 6 day advance early pregnancy test. Not the digital Cadillacs but by no means a jalopy. I had to pee at Target. No, despite what you just thought I did not check at Target. Although it did cross my mind.
I pee'd on it when I got home, in secret. I hid the remaining stick in my makeup bag. I didn't tell my husband.
It was negative, of course. I didn't expect it to be positive. But then again, that's not quite accurate either. In a little way, in a tiny irrational hopeless obsessed way, I did expect that second line. I still do.
It's in the bathroom, behind the towels. In case I want to check back later.
I'm around 9DPO or 10DPO...maybe. I didn't track so I have no idea when I ovulated. It's my first cycle after the D&C so I don't even know if I'll have a 28 day cycle. But I'm obsessed with being pregnant.
It is literally all. I. think. about!
At Target today I found myself in the pregnancy aisle. "Found myself," isn't exactly accurate. I walked over there on purpose. When I didn't see the tests near prenatal vitamins or lube I hunted them down. But I like to think it was a "whoops" moment, like oh what have we here? And, don't mind if I do.
I bought the 6 day advance early pregnancy test. Not the digital Cadillacs but by no means a jalopy. I had to pee at Target. No, despite what you just thought I did not check at Target. Although it did cross my mind.
I pee'd on it when I got home, in secret. I hid the remaining stick in my makeup bag. I didn't tell my husband.
It was negative, of course. I didn't expect it to be positive. But then again, that's not quite accurate either. In a little way, in a tiny irrational hopeless obsessed way, I did expect that second line. I still do.
It's in the bathroom, behind the towels. In case I want to check back later.
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